Halfway Between the Gutter & the Stars

Mrs Bickerstaff went to the newspaper office to arrange an obituary for her husband John.

‘I was so sorry to hear about John’s death,’ said the newspaperman. ‘He was such a kind man.’

‘Thank you,’ said Mrs Bickerstaff. ‘And what do you charge for an obituary?’

‘One pound per word, as many words as you like.’

‘It may be as many words as I like, but I don’t have many pounds; it’s not payday until next week, and I’ve only two pounds with me,’ said the widow. ‘Let me think.’

She took a piece of paper and a pen from her handbag, and after some pen-chewing and head-scratching and scribbling and crossing-out, she gave the newspaperman two pounds and the piece of paper with the obituary written out: “John died”.

The newspaperman looked at it and thought for a moment. ‘You know, I think John deserves more than this. He was kind to me many times; I’d like to do him a kindness in return. I’ll give you three more words at no extra charge.’

‘Thank you very much,’ said Mrs Bickerstaff. ‘That will be a help.’

She took the piece of paper again, wrote three more words on it and handed it back to the newspaperman with a smile. Now it read:

“John died. Car for sale.”