Halfway Between the Gutter & the Stars

Three men were sitting together bragging about how
they had given their new wives duties to perform.
Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged
that he had told his new wife to do the dishes and all
the cleaning in the house.  He said it took a couple
of days but on the third day he came home to a clean
house and all the dishes were washed and put away.James had married a woman from Australia and he
bragged that he had given his new wife orders to do
all the cleaning, the dishes and the cooking. He told
them the first day he didn’t see any results, but the
next day it was better and by the third day his house
was clean, the dishes done and there was a huge meal
on the table.The third man said the he had married a girl from
Liverpool.  He boasted that the duties he had ordered
her to do were to keep the house cleaned, the dishes
washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on
the table every day.  He said the first day he didn’t
see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything,
but by the third day most of the swelling had gone
down and he could see a little bit out of his left
eye.  Enough to make himself a bite to eat, load the
dishwasher and call a gardener.